Do whatever


I like to sit in a corner during a party (or conference) and just enjoy the atmosphere. Just sit there and enjoy the people. I don't always do it, mainly because I don't really want to draw too much attention to myself or my idleness (and sitting idly in a chair at a party has this effect). But when I do, I enjoy it. The party, the atmosphere, the people talking and dancing.

My wife by now knows that I like doing this and knows that she doesn't have to worry about me wanting to go home. Some of my friends know this too. The rest of the world doesn't. It's interesting to see their response. But regardless of the outcome, most just don't seem to get me. And that's ok. Ok with me anyways.

My advice: Do whatever makes you happy. Don't conform to conform; just do to be happy. Wait wait, take some ethics into account there (like "don't do onto others as you don't want to have done to yourself"), of course. But other than that, go nuts!

I've been living this way for a few years now. Luckily my philosophical epiphany came quite early. I didn't have to wait for my mid-life crisis for my enlightenment :p My life has pretty much been a day-by-day kind of thing. Don't worry about what happens in a year, just go with the now. Anything can happen between now and then, you might not even live that long to find out. So live now.

Of course your freedom is impeded once you start sharing your life with somebody else. Like living together, getting married, or having a kid. You suddenly find yourself at least partially restrained. For example I've always wanted to move abroad for a few years. Work at some big company to solve a problem, push my knowledge and the field beyond the barrier I sometimes feel I've hit now. But I can't now.

And when I say "can't", I'm really saying "can't without sacrificing something I value even more". You know what I mean. And this is a choice. But interestingly enough, this is the perfect example of the difference between doing whatever the hell I want and doing whatever the hell makes me happy. I can't do anything I want any more. I have to conform at least to the person I love. But I can still do whatever the hell makes me happy. In part of course because I have a partner that lets me. But face it, that's also one reason for me to love her. And who knows, we might still move abroad a couple of years, some day. Just not now, having just bought a house and all :)

So be happy while keeping those ethics in mind. Whatever you do won't matter much in a hundred years. It certainly won't matter anything after a thousand. Put into that perspective I doubt your own happiness can be outweighed by anything else for any future decision. You'll only live once, better make the best of it.

And I do. I'm happy.